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2008- Till 14 Apr 08

The night spent before the Throne of Grace - 13-14 Apr

My husband and I met with Dr Yeo in the morning. We were presented the gravity of Mingren's situation. He has very poor urine output in the past days signifiying that his kidneys are damaged and not tolerating the medication. He is extremely bloated. Medically he has come to a standstill. They cannot give him fluids as he is not outputing (only can give to replace evaporation losses). The infection in his blood is still there and can be fatal. They cannot give him antibiotics as it will damage his kidneys. He is off the high frequency ventilator and back to the previous ventilator to give him a better comfort. Should his oxygen go down, they cannot and will not increase the supply. The blood pressure medication will be winding down. In other words, the doctors are taking a step back and letting him go. My husband and I made our request clear that as long as he has breath, we will not give up on him. Mingren is alive, and he is fearfully and wonderfully made. We surrender our trust in medicine and are leaning on the Lord now.
 
Without medication, the Lord can show Himself strong and He can deliver Mingren. Oh to cry out to the Lord!
 
At 8.30pm, Mingren's heart rate dropped alot. At 9.15pm, SGH called my husband. At that time, Henry, Dawn, Zhiqiang, Anna and Edna gathered to pray at our house. My father said a quick prayer and we immediately we set off. How desperate we are! To seek our Lord Jesus to intervene and heal him! The car ride was spent crying and praying to God Almighty. Oh that the Lord be merciful!
 
When we reached the hospital, we were told that Mingren's heart rate went up again (around 100) at 9.20pm. God heard our cries! We couldn't stop praying. To plead for God to heal and intervene. We could only seek Him at His throne of grace and pray. For in the name of Jesus, there is victory!
 
"Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my (Jesus Christ) name, there am I among them."
Matthew 18:19
 
And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying,
“All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth..
Matthew 28:18
 
"For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses,
but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace,
that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
Heb 4:15-16
 
Mingren's heart rate went back up to 130, and his oxygen too. As boldly as we went to the throne of grace and have obtained mercy and found grace in time of need, I am confident that it is again the Lord who has delivered him out of his present danger. To keep knocking at the door and seek God's healing hand. 

I just got a called from my husband. Mingren's heart rate went down again. Stand firm, trust in the Lord! Going to SGH now. 
  

Updates on twins - 11 Apr

Weiren getting his stitches removed

 
       Stitches seen on his back....                       .....and his sides
  
     Dr Imelda removing his stitches.                Removed! Scar healing nicely.              Weiren sleeping soundly
 
Mingren's first poo (He pooed on 9 Apr evening)
 
  His first poo was kept in a container.               The poo left on the gauze.
 
The poo is the long thin streak on the left. The right piece is his dressing.
              Subsequent poo.
 
Weiren is growing well and he is now on 20 ml milk feed each time. Today he weighs 1595 g! Thank God for his good progress.
 
Mingren stopped urinating again last night and this morning only a little. Just when things were looking up yesterday, a grey cloud drifts today. May the Lord give wisdom to the medical team and show Himself strong and merciful through Mingren's life. I must remember that God is great and loving, and I can and must trust Him.
 
Psalm 40:1-5
I waited patiently for the LORD;
He inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the LORD.

Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust,
who does not turn to the proud,
to those who go astray after a lie!
You have multiplied, O LORD my God,
Your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us;
none can compare with you!
I will proclaim and tell of them,
yet they are more than can be told.

Yongren's 2nd day at Playgroup - 11 Apr

Mummy signed up a twice weekly playgroup for Yongren recently at Zoophonics. Each session lasts 1.5 hours. Mummy He seems to enjoy it very much on the first day. After changing into his Zoophonics uniform, daddy and mummy took a photo with him!

Mingren poo! - 10 Apr

Praise God! Mingren finally poo poo from his stoma last night! The doctors inserted a tube to straighten his urinary tract and he managed to urine 60 ml today! The road for Mingren is still long, for he is still not out of the danger. We continue to look to the Lord to deliver him. He is worthy of all our praise and we can trust Him in everything.
"Dear all, good news, praise God! Mingren has started to poo from the stoma. Thks for your unceasing prayers. Let us continue to commit him to the Lord."

Photos of twins the past 11 days

30 Mar

   
After procedure to insert drainage                             Hair is growing!                        Waste fluid flowing out of drainage                     
 
 
           Mingren's little hand                                         Little elephant
 
  
       Weiren sleeping soundly
 
 
       His hand is growing bigger                 Warming up his milk
 
1 Apr: Weiren's had his first major operation to close his fetal heart vessel
  
  Dressing of where the cut was made       Groggy after G.A., breathing with ventilator
 
Some medication administered                         Heartbeat, bp, resp, SiO2
 
2 Apr: Mingren's first major operation to close his fetal heart vessel.
  
      Operation was successful!                   The many medication           Sleeping after op
 
3 Apr
 
      A day after op and Mingren is wide awake, curiously looking around.
 
4 Apr: Mingren's 2nd major operation for intestine and to create a stoma
 
    The scar where the cut was made               Wide awake after the operation
 
 
Daddy & mummy so happy that God answered prayer and delivered Mingren through this very high risk operation

5 Apr
 
                  Weiren taken off the respirator to breath on his own.
 
9 Apr: Procedure to insert a tap near his left lung to draw out fluids was carried out. This helped him with his breathing so lungs can expand more.
Mingren's urine output has been irregular and for few days with poor output. His water retention was high and hence he look very bloated.He's still active, moving his hands and feet. However, he couldn't open his eyes as his eyelids are too bloated.
 

8 Apr 2008

It has been a few days since i'm able to update on the twins. Over the weekend, his condition has been going up and down. The day immediately after his surgery, Mingren did not urine and he became more bloated. Two days ago he had good urine output (70 ml) and yesterday his output was quite okay (50ml) until 8pm at night. There were no urine till 1pm today. Because of that, he became very bloated, even his whole face. He was also found to have infection in his blood, which only responds to an antibiotics which will cause side effects to his kidneys. It pains my husband and my heart to see him looking like that. As there are more fluids in his lungs (due to the water retention), he has been switched to high frequency oxygen support. The stoma is still not functioning yet.

My husband sent out this sms today:
"Dear all, Mingren's urine output is still very irregular. His water retention reached the face and his face is very swollen. His breathing support has increased and he has bacteria in his blood. Pls pray that his urine output will increase in volume and that the Lord will deliver him thru his present danger as He always did."
 
Although the situation is still very critical, we trust that our God is in control. God loves Mingren and Weiren with a love that is beyond measure. We can only pray and plead to Him, trusting Him day by day. May the Lord show Himself strong and merciful as He always have and always is.
 
"For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses,
but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace,
that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
Heb 4:15-16
 
Dear friends and family, thank you all for your unceasing prayer and upholding us to be strong in the Lord. We are so encouraged by each and every one of you for showering your love in our lives. The above verses was shared by a dear sister in Christ, Joann.
 
Today my former form class visited me and I received the sweetest gift ever .. a book full of personalised letters and a bottle of handmade stars. Thank you dear students. The gift (esp the letters you all wrote) meant alot to me.
 

Twins turn 1 month old! - 4 Apr 2008

My husband received a call from SGH in the afternoon to inform us that Mingren will undergo another operation on his intestines. This could be the only chance he can get to go through the operation. This was an extremely high risk operation. Praise Him! Praise Him! God heard and answered our pleas and prayers! Yes, indeed our Almighty God is gracious and merciful, full of compassion and holiness.
 
These smses were sent out by my husband:
 
"Dear all, by God's grace, the twins turn 1 mth old today. Mingren's condition has slightly improve post-op but his stomach is overly bloated. Dr r going to perform another op on his intestines 2nite @ 10pm. It's a stoma op and will involve leaving portion of his intestines outside the body for a period. Another op will be done in future to reinsert his intestines. Although Dr expressed he is in better condition, it will be still a high risk op. Pls pray that God's hands will be on the surgeon and Mingren. Surely the purpose of all these is to show that the Lord is compassionate and merciful. James 5:11"
 
At 12.05 am
"Dear all, thanks for your prayers. Against medical odds as the dr mentioned, the op wa a success, Mingren tolerated the op well. Pls continue to pray for him esp the next 72 hrs as he may turn worse before recovering. The Lord has indeed shown that His strength is made perfect in our weakness."
 
 
 
 
 

3 Apr 2008

Dear all, due to the busy-ness of these few days (hospital trips and moving house), we were unable to find the time to update the website.
 
The events were as follows according to the sms sent by my husband:
 
31 Mar
"Dear all, Mingren's already critical condition worsened today. He is max blood pressure and lung support. His open fetal heart vessel requires surgery but he is not stable to undergo the op. Doctors appear to hit a road block in terms of treatment. Only the Lord can deliver him now. Pls pray that God will show himself strong, doing what man and medicine deemed impossible. 'Thy mercies are new each morning, Great is Thy faithfulness.' Lam 3:23"
 
"Dear all, Weiren will undergo surgery today at 5pm to close the fetal heart vessel. Pls pray that God will guide the surgeon's hands and grant the medical team wisdom. Pls pray that his body will adapt to the clip which will be left permanently in his body. Thks"
 
"Dear all, due to logistical reasons, Weiren will undergo the op tomorrow @ 2pm. Thank God he is doing ok so far."
 
1 Apr
"Dear all, praise God that Weiren's op is a success! Pls pray for him that he will recover well and grow strong. Mingren will undergo the same op tomorrow. Doctors have advised that his op is nec but carries high level of risk. Pls pray that God will grant wisdom, strength and steady hands to the doctors and also deliver Mingren through op and current critical condition. Thks."
 
2 Apr
"Dear all, Mingren will undergo op at 12pm. His condition is still critical. Please pray for strength and steady hands on surgeon and all healthcare workers, and that God will give grace and strength to mingren to go thru the op. May the Lord be glorified in his."
 
"Dear all, praise be to God! Mingren's op is a success; dr expressed that he took the procedure well. The next 48 hrs is crucial- pls pray that he will recover well from the op and that his blood pressure will stabilise. Dr mentioned he may need to go for another op for his bloated intestine next wk. The Lord has and will always be his fortress, his refuge, as he fights on. Thks for your prayers and support."
 
Psalm 116
I
love the LORD, because he has heard
   my voice and my pleas for mercy.
Because he inclined his ear to me,
   therefore I will call on him as long as I live.
 The snares of death encompassed me;
   the pangs of Sheol laid hold on me;
   I suffered distress and anguish.
Then I called on the name of the LORD:
   "O LORD, I pray, deliver my soul!"

 Gracious is the LORD, and righteous;
   our God is merciful.
The LORD preserves the simple;
   when I was brought low, he saved me.
Return, O my soul, to your rest;
   for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.

 
For you have delivered my soul from death,
   my eyes from tears,
   my feet from stumbling;
I will walk before the LORD
    in the land of the living.


I believed, even when I spoke,
   "I am greatly afflicted";
 I said in my alarm,
    "All mankind are liars."

 
What shall I render to the LORD
   for all his benefits to me?
I will lift up the cup of salvation
   and call on the name of the LORD,
I will pay my vows to the LORD
   in the presence of all his people.

 
Precious in the sight of the LORD
   is the death of his saints.
O LORD, I am your servant;
   I am your servant, the son of your maidservant.
   You have loosed my bonds.
I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving
   and call on the name of the LORD.
I will pay my vows to the LORD
   in the presence of all his people,
in the courts of the house of the LORD,
   in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Praise the LORD!
 

30 Mar 2008

My husband received a call from SGH this afternoon. After which he sent out this sms:
"Dear all, Mingren's blood pressure dropped substantially today. Doctors are providing all the medical support they can. Doctors expressed that Mingren is near the limit in terms of medical support. Please pray that God will preserve his life."
 
Dear Christian friends and family, we again thank you for your unceasing prayers and immediate response of prayer. The cardiocologist will be seeing Weiren tonight also to check the condition of his fetal heart vessel. More updates to be given tomorrow.
 

28 Mar 2008

Dear all, our website was hacked today. Why the hacker targeted a non-profit and personal website is beyond us; the hacker went so far as to delete all our contents.

Thank God we have backup until the below-mentioned date. We will be re-updating the contents that were not backup-ed and hopefully have everything up this week. We maybe shifting to another hosting service as well.

We thank you all for praying unceasingly for us and the twins. Please continue to pray for Mingren & Weiren. As of today's report:
 
Mingren
- has urined 48 ml yesterday, and 6 ml so far today.
- his stomach area still look very bloated and red, also due to infection in his intestines. Doctors are also unclear what is going on inside.
- fetal heart vessel still opened.
- we praise God for His hand of mercy and might upon him all these while.
- pray for continuous healing of God's hand upon him. That God will strengthen him.
 
Weiren
- continue to pray for God's healing hand.
- his fetal heart vessel is still opened, and we are praying specifically that God will close his heart vessel (and mingren's) without the need for an operation.
- because his vessel is opened, his breathing has been harder and quicker, and his heart beat has been faster also.
- praise item: he put on weight 1310 g today, and is now on 12 ml milk!
 
Dear Christian friends and family, we are so thankful for taking this journey with us and praying for the twins. May God be glorified!
 

22 Mar 2008

This morning the doctors had a scare. Mingren's heartbeat dropped so low that they had to resusitate him. Again his oxygen support has to be increased.
 
My husband sent out these smses today:
 
1.50 pm "Dear all, Mingren still has not bowel out yet and his tummy is excessively swollen. Surgeon will be evaluting on surgical procedures today. Pls pray that God will support Mingren thru these critical 2 days."
 
6.15 pm "Dear all, surgeon will start inserting a drain into mingren's abdomen. Pls pray that God will guide her hands and support mingren thru this procedure."
 
7.42 pm "Dear all, thks for your prayers. The procedure was a success. Dr has drained out 30 ml of clear fluids (which is good news, ie the intestines did not burst) and wash the insides to clear infection. He is not out of danger yet. Pls pray that he will stablilise and be able to urinate and bowel. Dr said that Mingren tolerated the op very well. The Lord has been and will be Mingren's banner as he soldiers on."
 
Dear Christian friends and family, thank you all so much for upholding Mingren in prayer. Praise God, Praise Him! Tomorrow is ressurection sunday. Because He lives, I can face tomorrow! We again humbly ask for your unceasing and fervent prayer to be upon Mingren.
 
Psalm 103:1-5
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love
and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's." 
 
Update on Weiren (our other beloved son)
We thank God that Weiren is still stable and his milk intake has increased to 9 ml! His fetal heart vessel has opened again and doctors are treating him. Please remember him in prayers too.

21 Mar 2008

Luke 18:1
Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart.
 
My husband sent out this sms in the morning after our visit to the hospital:
"Dear all, Mingren's condition turned for the worse today. He stopped urinating since yesterday, jaundice returned, blood pressure weakening, infection in lungs and O2 requirement increasing. Please pray that he will be able to urinate and that God will show His might and mercy on him." 
 
Dear Christian friends, thank you so much for your unceasing prayers. We yearn for your prayers and humbly ask of you to uphold Mingren during this crucial period. We are truly touched and grateful for all praying for us and with us today in church. Please remember Weiren too, as we found out that his fetal heart vessel sometimes fluctuates too. In all things, may God's name be glorified and every of our joy be made full.
 

Twins turn 2 weeks old! - 18 Mar 2008


 
Today marks the 2nd week milestone! Looking back on their first day of life:
Mingren's weight was 370 g and was 26 cm long.
Weiren's weight was 1.1 kg and was 39 cm long.
 
I decided to record down the little steps forward they have taken during these 14 days of life outside the womb, and they have really gone a long way. Praise God for everything. The words "God will take care of you" is a song my husband and I sing to them when we see them. We are reminded that although with medicine there is uncertainties, with God there is certainties.
 
Mingren urinated alot today (over 50 ml). But he is still gaining in weight. Much of the weight gained is due to water retention and he needs to lose them by urinating alot everyday. So we are hoping to see a drop in weight and less bloatedness in his body. We are also thankful to God for closing his fetal heart vessel and pray that it will close completely. Because it has effectively closed, Mingren is spared from a surgery. According to blood test, his kidneys are also on the improving trend. He still  has many hurdles to overcome. This little one is persevering in the strength and grace of the Lord.
 
Weiren started milk on sunday (3 days ago) at 2ml, gradually increasing to 4 ml and now 6 ml. His colour is starting to become rosier and I even managed to see his eyes open a few times
 
The road ahead for both babies is still long. They have their own individual milestones to overcome and we can only lift them up to the Lord. The doctors and nurses at sgh have been so patient and kind towards us, updating us everyday of the babies' developement and taking care of the babies. So far we have known Dr Mas, Dr Imelda, Dr Poon, Nurse staff Koh, Chan, Stella, Adeline, Hwee Ling, Chang, Esther. I am sure there are many more doctors and nurses taking care of them but we have not met them yet or have forgotten their names.   

I learn a new song - 16 Mar 2008

He Hideth My Soul
A wonderful Saviour is Jesus My Lord,
A wonderful Saviour to me;
He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock,
Where rivers of pleasure I see.
 
Chorus:
He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock
That shadows a dry, thirsty land;
He hideth my life in the depths of His love,
And covers me there with His hand,
And covers me there with His hand.
 
A wonderful Saviour is Jesus my Lord,
He taketh my burden away;
He holdeth me up, and I shall not be moved,
He giveth me strength as my day.
 
With numberless blessings each moment He crowns,
And filled with His fullness divine,
I sing in my rapture, "O glory to God
For such a Redeemer as mine!"
 
We sang this song in church before the message. What a wondrous and moving song to sing to the Lord. I was especially moved on the 2nd and 3rd stanza and chorus. (Was concentrating too hard learning the tune during the 1st stanza) God says in Exodus 33:22 "I will put thee in the cleft of the rock, and will cover thee with My hand". Whatever the burdens, give it to the Lord and trust Him. He alone is God. 
 

Update on the twins - 14 Mar 2008

 

 
After the birthday dinner with Yongren, my parents, husband and I went down to SGH to visit the twins. Praise God that Mingren's fetal heart vessel is already very small, effectively closed! His blood is also on the improving trend. He still requires transfusion. He has begun to urinate more (14 ml today) but he still needs to urinate ALOT more. Still much water retention and we need to pray for God to heal him. Everything seems to be revolving around his kidney function. The doctors are taking things very slowly with him, and he's taking one day at a time. He looks so tiny and his colour is still very dark. He has also been unable to empty his bowels. But we'll lift him up to the Lord's care and trust Him day by day.
 
Weiren is stable, he seem to be happily sleeping whenever I visit him. I am looking foward to the day he is ready to take milk feed so that he can start growing stronger and put on weight. For now, his body system is not ready for milk yet.
 
Dear Christian friends, thank you for praying for them and encouraging us to be strong in the Lord all these while. Also for our friends who do not know the Lord Jesus, thank you for all your care and concerns. May the lives of the twins and our lives truly show the greatness and mercies of our Lord as the days unfold.

Happy 2nd Birthday to Yongren! - 14 Mar 2008

 

 
Yongren turns 2! What a rare and happy occasion to gather both sides of our family members to celebrate his birthday! Dad, Mum, Pa, Ma, Benson, Ge, Rachel. We ate at Seafood Paradise @ Defu Lane 10. I had to forgo all the delicious food due to my confinement, so I busied myself feeding Yongren. He loved the food! Prawn, beef, crab, noodle, cucumber, egg, mushroom.. he happily chewed and ate almost everything. Yay! Mummy can't wait to pass him all my prawns and mushrooms .. heh heh heh.
 
The moment came when the huge star shaped cake was brought out with 2 candles (ordered and designed by Popo. Mummy just wanted a big 2 on the cake). All the grown ups sang "Happy Birthday" to Yongren and he was so happy! The happiest and most fun moment for him was to blow the candles.
 
How quickly time flies, see how big he has grown. We always thank God for giving us such a sweet and cute son!
1 month old Post-It pad (designed by daddy)
 
1st Birthday Stickers (designed by mummy)
 

Twins turn 1 week old - 11 Mar 2008

 
 
Mingren and Weiren turn 1 week old today! Praise God for His grace and mercy. Great is Thy faithfulness!
 
We continue to pray for them as they have many hurdles to overcome. Mingren has been able to urinate more (20 ml in total by monday) and he needs to urinate even more as he is getting bloated from water retention. He has not yet empty his bowels and needs to do so. His fetal heart vessel which was originally very wide open is now smaller (it needs to close completely). Seeing him face to face is very emotional for me as he looks so tiny and he is still very sick. May the Lord keep me strong, trusting Him every single day. The LORD is his deliverer!
 
Weiren has been taken off the tube which supports his breathing and he is coping well. Now waiting for him to stablise in his digestive system so that he can take milk feed soon. We finally saw his face without the eye patches and he looks so adorable!
 

Every Day Forward is a Day of Victory - 9 Mar 2008

I was discharged from the hospital on 8 Mar 2008. My mother, brother and sis-in-law Rachel came to pick me up. We saw the babies one more time before leaving and I told them mummy and daddy will be back again. I committed them to the Lord's care.
 
Mingren was not urinating or emptying his bowels. As of today, he managed to output 6ml of urine! He still needs to empty his bowels. The doctors and nurses are trying to balance the amount of fluid to give him and how much he can process. He is so tiny that his veins are very difficult to find. The doctors and nurses will need to find a vein some days or weeks later. Weiren was initially having alot of difficulties breathing on his own and became very tired. The doctors put in a tube to help him breath. Now, he is more stable and comfortable, and the doctors are going to remove the tube again soon and let him breath on his own. Still many other milestones and hurdles ahead. Dear Christian family and friends, we thank you so much for all your prayers and again yearn for your prayers upon the twins and the healthcare workers. There is none like our God.
 
Day 2 (5 Mar 2008)
 
Day 3 (6 Mar 2008)                   
 
                  Mingren                                                       Weiren
 
Be gracious to me, O Lord,
   for to you do I cry all the day.
Gladden the soul of your servant,
   for to you, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.

For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving,
   abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you.

Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer;
   listen to my plea for grace.
In the day of my trouble I call upon you,
   for you answer me.
 
There is none like you among the gods, O Lord,
    nor are there any works like yours.
 All the nations you have made shall come
   and worship before you, O Lord,
   and shall glorify your name.
For you are great and do wondrous things;
   you alone are God.

 Teach me your way, O LORD,
   that I may walk in your truth;
   unite my heart to fear your name.

I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart,
   and I will glorify your name forever.
For great is your steadfast love toward me;
   you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.

Psalm 86:3-13

The twins are born - 4 Mar 2008

Day 1

         
                 Soh Beng Jin (Su Mingren)                      Soh Wee Jin (Su Weiren)
                               6.01 pm                                                6.02 pm           
                               370 g                                                     1.1 kg
          "His mercies are new every morning"             "The Lord's mercies are great"
 
Great is the LORD
I will extol You, my God, O King;
         And I will bless Your name forever and ever.
 Every day I will bless You,
         And I will praise Your name forever and ever.
 Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised;
         And His greatness is unsearchable. 
         
 One generation shall praise Your works to another,
         And shall declare Your mighty acts.
  I will meditate on the glorious splendor of Your majesty,
         And on Your wondrous works.
 Men shall speak of the might of Your awesome acts,
         And I will declare Your greatness.
They shall utter the memory of Your great goodness,
         And shall sing of Your righteousness. 
         
 The LORD is gracious and full of compassion,
         Slow to anger and great in mercy.
 The LORD is good to all,
         And His tender mercies are over all His works. 
         
 All Your works shall praise You, O LORD,
         And Your saints shall bless You.
 They shall speak of the glory of Your kingdom,
         And talk of Your power,
 To make known to the sons of men His mighty acts,
         And the glorious majesty of His kingdom.
 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
         And Your dominion endures throughout all generations.
         
 The LORD upholds all who fall,
         And raises up all who are bowed down.
 The eyes of all look expectantly to You,
         And You give them their food in due season.
 You open Your hand
         And satisfy the desire of every living thing. 
         
 The LORD is righteous in all His ways,
         Gracious in all His works.
 The LORD is near to all who call upon Him,
         To all who call upon Him in truth.
 He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him;
         He also will hear their cry and save them.
 The LORD preserves all who love Him,
         But all the wicked He will destroy.
 My mouth shall speak the praise of the LORD,
         And all flesh shall bless His holy name
         Forever and ever.
Psalm 145
 
(The above Psalm was shared to me by my friend Dency who was overseas. To recount the wonderous works of the Lord)
 
Recounting the event:
God did not short change us one single day. Great is the Lord and He is gracious and merciful! On 3 March, I went to KKH for my scan and admitted into the hospital for 24 hour ctg monitoring. From the scan, Mingren's bloodflow has worsen and reverse bloodflow was detected in the vessel near his heart. Despite all, his heart continues to beat steadily during the ctg monitoring. That day was still one day short of 28th week. I hung on to awaiting the Lord's answer and told my gynaecologist if the scan could be done again the next day and perhaps the reverse flow would stop. She said that we can wait till tomorrow and do the scan again, but very very likely I have to deliver very very soon. There was a problem though, the NICU beds in KKH were overflowing and considering the severity of my situation, they knew they have to transfer me to another hospital to give the twins the best chance. Since NUH was near my house, I requested for that first. But God had everything in His hands.

I was transferred to SGH on that very day (monday) and arrived at SGH in the evening. Thankfully my sister-in-law, Sharon, was with me and took care of all my belongings. The doctors on duty saw my case file that night and prepared me for the worst as Mingren was estimated to be 350g. There was hopelessness written on their faces. "Look to the Lord, look to the Lord. Don't look at men. Look at God" was what Dawn told me on Sunday. Joann sms me Ps 57:7 "My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast!". My husband and I prayed and committed all to God once again. 

The next morning, the scan showed reverse bloodflow again in the vessel near the heart. We understood from the doctor that many of his blood vessels showed poor signs. Senior Consultant of Obstetrics & Gynaecology, Dr Tan Hak Koon took our case and he explained the whole situation to us very honestly. Mingren's bloodflow has been deteriorating since the 20+ weeks. His weight was extremely low. To keep him inside was to starve him and his system was shutting down one by one. To take him out was to give him a chance to feed him but it also involves many many risks. Weiren was doing fine inside me. His weight was a healthy estimated 1.1kg. But sharing the same placenta puts him at risk should anything happen to Mingren. My husband told him we want to do our best to save both. Although medically the hopes are low for Mingren, knowing how I felt, he assured us that they will never look at a baby and deem him hopeless, the healthcare workers will always try their best to resusitate the babies. The question that stood before us was: When to deliver the babies? 

The nurses and doctors continue to monitor the babies heartbeat as closely as possible. I was instructed to be off solids. It was not easy to capture their heartbeat constantly. From what they monitored throughout the afternoon, the heartbeats were not very steady and fluctuates high and low. Finally at about 4pm, Dr Tan came in again and we decided to save both the babies and deliver that day. Dr Yeo Cheo Lian, Head and Senior Consultant of Neonatal and Developmental Medicine came and spoke to us and prepared us for what is ahead for our babies in NICU. Weiren being at 28 weeks was already considered very premature. Mingren's situation made more severe by his low birth weight. Despite the severity of Mingren's situation, she assured us that her healthcare workers will do their very best.

At about 5.30pm, the operation team was ready and everything happened very fast. By 5.45 pm I was in the operation theatre and the team prepared me with all the necessary plugs. By 6.01 and 6.02 pm, the twins were out. Mingren was active and his eyes were opened when he came out. Weiren had one eye opened (just like Yongren last time).

The Lord has indeed been so merciful. He has not withheld a single day from the twins and has given us the best. A very experienced doctor to deliver me, a team of dedicated healthcare workers to take care of the twins. Everything that happened was not by chance. It was all in His hand. The road ahead is still very long for the twins. We will keep looking to the Lord to deliver. 

We would like remember and thank all the doctors, nurses, anesthesiologists and healthcare workers who took care of us in SGH during this period of time. We also want to remember and thank our family (pa, ma, dad, mum, sharon, rachel, ge) who have supported us so much by taking care of our son Yongren and being present with us. Not forgetting our family in Christ, friends from BFC, who prayed for us without ceasing, visited us and encouraged us during this period of time. Without our dear family and friends, this road would have been alot more difficult to walk.
 

In my 27th week - 29 Feb 2008

Psalm 66:16-20
Come and hear, all you who fear God,
   and I will tell what he has done for my soul.
I cried to him with my mouth,
   and high praise was on my tongue.
If I had cherished iniquity in my heart,
   the Lord would not have listened.
But truly God has listened;
   he has attended to the voice of my prayer.
 
Blessed be God,
   because he has not rejected my prayer
   or removed his steadfast love from me!
 
 
Today, I am in my 27+ weeks. My heart awaits seeing the Lord answering our prayers: "Our Heavenly Father, we plead with you to sustain both Mingren and Weiren to 28 weeks and beyond.." Throughout this journey thus far, my husband and I sought the Lord's intervention in the lives of our twins, and daily learning to submit our will to Him. Yet with each growing weeks, our Lord has taught us how to pray with earnest hearts and fervent spirit. Something that has been very much lacking in our prayers. And I am ashamed and grateful for the Lord to teach me this by sending trials. Not just us, but even the lives of our dear friends Joann and Daniel has brought us to our knees. I believe that this is not the end of trials and temptations. The devil is also hard at work when many of God's people are praying. He is seeking to destroy and prevent God's people from being fruitful and faithful. For revival to come, the Spirit of God will move in such a mighty way that all of God's people will have to surrender their lives fully to Him, confessing our sins and seeking restoration with one another. To say "God, use me anywhere".
 
On tuesday, my husband and I were still not certain of the Lord's direction in delivery. We, for the sake of Mingren, considered 27th week for delivery. However, the prayer to God was always 28 weeks and beyond. I could only pray and ask God to show us the way such that both of us can agree together knowing the He is with us. That day, the Lord brought an associate professor into the same room as us when I was doing the scan. Through his feedback, my husband and I could make a collective decision to wait till the 28th week before delivery.
 
In my scan today, both Mingren and Weiren's heart were beating steadily. Mingren still has reverse blood flow in his umbilical cord. His other vessels do not have reverse blood flow. God has been merciful. Mingren has hardly grown, and his water level is low. But we shall put our faith in God to answer prayer and sustain him!
 
The date my pregnancy turns 28 weeks: 4 March 2008.
 
I will be admitted into the hospital on monday for 24 hours monitoring. Dear Christian family and friends, we covert your prayers and ask that you uphold us fervently.
 
Luke 18:1
Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart.
 

Reunion with my first form class - 19 Feb 2008

Surprise, surprise! When I opened my door to welcome my first form class, I was filled with joy and surprise to see so many faces, some of which I've not seen for many years.
  
           Stephanie & Huifen                                     Alwyn & Joel                                     Ronnie & Shaun
   
       Weixin, Chuan Yan & Claire                          Wei Kian & Derrick
 
They brought Yu Sheng and cream of mushroom soup (deliciously cooked by Chuan Yan's father), and the girls quickly helped out with the utensils. Fortunately I have stocked up disposable bowls, plates and spoons in my kitchen, it all came in handy! The boys helped out with some extra chairs from my storeroom and arranged them around the table. Finally, with all that we needed, we made ourselves comfortable around the table. And it was a great time of tossing Yu Sheng, drinking soup and catching up! They are still the same, yet not the same. Lots of laughter and chatting, it seems like they have gone back to the good old days of classmates. Yet each of them has matured through the years of studies, army and experiences. Thank you all for coming my dearest and first form class. I am so happy to see every single one of you. The next time we meet may be another year later. Happy Chinese New Year! And a special thanks to Chuan Yan for organising this visit. Your "auntie" skills are suburb!
 
4/3!

Lunch with ex-NJC friends - 17 Feb 2008

It was a rare gathering for my husband and he was looking forward to it. It was a lunch get-together with his NJC classmates! Of course I just tagged along and enjoyed the food at Red Star Restaurant. Yongren tried some of the dim sum too! Btw, this day was also my husband's birthday!
 

Surprise Valentine's Day - 14 Feb 2008

My husband and I stopped celebrating Valentine's Day long long long time ago... every day is valentine day . And flowers were only given to me by my husband on my wedding day. Soooo what a sweet surprise to receive flowers from....
 
Thank you dearest 4E4 for your token of love. It must have cost you all a lot of money to send flowers on valentine's day itself. What I appreciate very much were the words that each of you pen inside the card. Remember the meaningful and happy times we had last year... I hope 4E4 has built up a caring and healthy class spirit that will carry on for the rest of this year!
 
Racial Harmony Day & Henny's last day in school
 
Physics Demonstration Lab at NUS
 
Oct-Dec Birthday Girls & Boy:
Rabiatul, Joey, Yiling, Aneesha, Joanna, Karina, Xinru and Fang Yi
 

The Steadfast Love of God Endures - Psalm 52

Why do you boast of evil, O mighty man?
The steadfast love of God endures all the day.
Your tongue plots destruction,
like a sharp razor, you worker of deceit.
You love evil more than good,
and lying more than speaking what is right.
You love all words that devour,
O deceitful tongue.
 
But God will break you down forever;
He will snatch and tear you from your tent;
He will uproot you from the land of the living.
The righteous shall see and fear,
and shall laugh at him, saying,
"See the man who would not make God his refuge,
but trusted in the abundance of his riches
and sought refuge in his own destruction!"
 
But I am like a green olive tree
in the house of God.
I trust in the steadfast love of God
forever and ever.
I will thank you forever,
because you have done it.
I will wait for your name, for it is good
in the presence of the godly.
 
I read this psalm on 12 Feb and the words rang so strongly in my mind and heart. It speaks of God's judgement towards the wicked and how King David waited upon God and trusted in His steadfast love.
 
I love the last part:
But I am like a green olive tree
in the house of God.
I trust in the steadfast love of God
forever and ever.

His Mercy is New Every Morning- 13 Feb 2008

25 weeks old.
 
After another 2 weeks since our last scan, we went for our next visit to KK Hospital. Praise God for again sustaining the twins another 2 weeks, especially for little Mingren who has been so small and whose bloodflow was poor. We thank God for His mercy and grace, for showing mercy on Mingren and Weiren. Mingren has grown very little, almost stagnant. My gynae says that the little one is fighting. In our heart, we know it is the Lord who is fighting for him. God's grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in weakness. If both can survive till the 28 weeks, they can be delivered.  This gives Mingren the chance to grow better. The days ahead are still uncertain, but we'll keep trusting the Lord. Many are upholding us and the twins in prayer and we are grateful for all walking alongside with us. Please continue to pray for wisdom for both doctors and us in making decisions. Also for the Lord to grow the two little ones each day.
 
Even now, I am reminded of my good friend, Joann, who has recently been diagnosed of cancer and is also pregnant. My heart grows heavy and I can only cry to the Lord for His mercy to spare her life and heal her! This is her family's verse during this trying and uncertain period.
 
But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord;
I say, "You are my God."
My times are in Your hand...
Make Your face shine upon Your servant;
Save me for Your mercies' sake.
Do not let me be ashamed, O Lord, for I have called upon You
Psalm 31:14-17
 

Train up a child in the way he should go. Don't forget to pray.

Our children are indeed born sinners. They do not need to be taught to disobey, lie, be selfish and steal. Yongren became more and more disobedient and wilful last week, and my husband decided to bring him home last saturday (before CNY) to spend time with him and teach him in the discipline of obedience. Out came the rod too. As him mummy, I was reminded that I need to pray for my son, for the Lord sees the heart and He can change his heart. Having read Proverbs, the Lord has affirm in my heart to pray for my son. And thank God for answering prayers! As my husband was diligent to discipline him, my son started to heed his father's instructions. Well, that's just a day's victory. We must keep praying for our child and depend on the Lord for wisdom in training him up in God's ways.

Prov 1:8-9
Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching,
for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.
 
Prov 10:17
Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life,
but he who rejects reproof leads others astray.
 
Prov 12:1
He who loves discipline loves knowledge,
but he who hates reproof is stupid.
 
Prov 13:1
A wise son hears his father's instruction,
but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.
 
Prov 13:24
Whoever spoils the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
 

Yongren jumps! - 10 Feb 2008

 
Yongren has been practising jumping for a few days already, and each time both feet were still stuck on the ground. But all the practising paid off as he figured out how to control his little calf muscles to lift his body off the ground! This is the first day he jumps successfully!

Visitation from 4E4 - 9 Feb 2008

I woke up with my heart of anticipation - who's turning up at my place today from 3E4 (2007)? Roughly I knew a few that were coming. Vanna arranged this visit through facebook. Jake and Joanna smsed me. Xinru called me. But who exactly was a surprise. I have not seen them for a long time already.. only for a day in January, but that was it. So rearranging my house a little (with my husband's help), I prepared the table with goodies, cakes and oranges.

Happy Chinese New Year! I was greeted by 8 smilie and familiar faces! They bought a lovely and thoughtful gift to since I've been on mc and pregnant with twin complications. A bundle of essense of chicken and bird nest! I updated them about the progress of the development of the twins, and they updated me about themselves (I would wish to hear more!).
 
Thank you all for visiting me dear students:
Jake, Vanna, Joanna, Shen Faye,
Aaron, Ivy, Jaslyn and Janet.

"Gong Xi Fa Cai" Happy Chinese New Year! - 7-8 Feb 2008

 
It was the first day of Chinese New Year! Daddy and mummy tried to put some new bright clothes on Yongren. Unfortunately, Yongren started to cry terribly when daddy put a bright red new year shirt on him. We removed the shirt and calmed him down. After that we let him choose from 2 shirt and 2 pants (to both he said NO), he finally realised that he only had those 2 choices. So hence the interesting combination of bright blue pants and an orange shirt was his final choice. He accepted the hat too.
 
Off we went to visit yeye, grandmama, da bo, gu gu and uncle ben. Gong Xi Gong Xi!
 
 
After that we went for new year lunch with popo, gong gong, jiu jiu, jiu mu, zhen zhu fu and zhen zhu mu. (Photos will be uploaded on a later date when mummy gets the photos.)

Yongren has a sense of humour! - 21 Jan 2008

When he first watched the last portion of Seasons from Baby Einstein, he laughed non-stop. Even after watching a few more times, he still find the video ticklish!

My hope is in the Lord - 31 Jan 2008


23 weeks old
 
As indicated on the scans, the 2 pictures on the left is twin A, on the right is twin B.
We have named them Mingren (twin A) and Weiren (twin B).
 
We are grateful to the support and enormous amount of prayers by our family, and our church friends and folks from Baptist Fellowship Church. Thank you for pleading with us on the lives and growth of the twins and sending so many smses/calls to encourage us in the LORD. God has been so good in extending His hand of compassion and mercy, in hearing the prayers of many.
 
My husband has been my pillar of strength. There was once I asked him "what if God takes the twins away?". And I guess in the bottom of my heart I wanted to hear that God will never take them away. But my husband lovingly and tenderly told me "God has given, and He can take them away. God has a purpose in all this." And with these few words, I re-gave my will and heart to God.
 
Since the report on 17 Jan, my husband and I have gone back to KK Hospital for more ultrascans on 21, 24 and the most recent 31 Jan. During both trips on 21 and 24 Jan, the report showed the numbers indicating the amount of fluid in the sac to be more stabilised (normal range is 2 - 8). With Mingren around 4, and Weiren flutuating from 8.0 to 7.1. Our gynaecologist Dr June Tan indicated to us that the twin-to-twin transfusion (TTTS) seem to not be the problem now. Our main concern now lies with the bloodflow of the smaller twin Mingren, who has been surviving with reverse bloodflow for almost a week. From the many cases that she has handled before, she told us that twins with similar reverse bloodflow may experience their heart stop within 1-2 weeks.
 
I dared not believe that the TTTS has stopped, and I prayed that the Lord show me that this is true by my next visit on 31 Jan. And indeed the amount of fluid in both sac are at safe zones, with Mingren at 3.9, and Weiren at 6.9. And I can only attribute this miracle to the LORD for He has answered a specific prayer in stopping the TTTS!
 
When we saw Mingren's heart still beating after 2 weeks (on 31 Jan), our hearts are filled with gladness and joy! He's so small, but God power has been made perfect in weakness (2 Cor 12:9) . Although his reverse bloodflow is a danger to his life, God has been merciful in giving him manna from above. Each day his little heart beat is a day God demonstrates His grace and mercy. Hence his name- Mingren.
 
From the doppler scan, Mingren was still found to have reverse bloodflow, and even the vessels nearest his heart was found to have reverse bloodflow. Although the report brings about a grey cloud above our heads, my husband and I hope in the LORD. We are pleading for God to give him manna from above, to be his strength, and to change the reverse bloodflow to forward flow. Above all, may His will be done and His name glorified in everything.
 
Through these weeks, many questions and struggles arose within my heart. Seeking God's will and understanding His sovereighty was a struggle against my flesh (because of my selfishness and wanting my own way). I wrestled with these verses and more and pray that God be patient and merciful to show me who He is.
 
Job 1:20-21
Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. 21And he said, "Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."
 
Job 2:9-10
Then his wife said to him, "Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die." 10But he said to her, "You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil*?"
*disaster
 
Job 42:1-2
Then Job answered the LORD and said:
 2"I know that You can do all things,
   and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.

 
Psalm 42:10-11
As with a deadly wound in my bones,
   my adversaries taunt me,
while they say to me all the day long,
   "Where is your God?"

 11Why are you cast down, O my soul,
   and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
   my salvation and my God.

   

For I am fearfully and wonderfully made - 17 Jan 2008

 
                             twin A on the left, twin B on the right.
 
                twin A (smaller one)                                     twin B
 
                                    twin A and twin B (they look alike!)             
 
21 weeks old
 
Despite all the complications, both twins are alive and moving. We thank our Lord for sustaining and growing the twins thus far. His mercy are new every morning!
 
The amount of amniotic fluid in twin B is now comparably more (7.6) compared to that in twin A (2.7). According to my gynaecologist, this appears to be a symptom of twin-to-twin transfusion (TTTS) where one twin is donating blood to another. In this case, twin A is donating to twin B. Already small and getting insufficient blood flow, twin A is giving to twin B. This actually puts twin B in danger too as he is getting an overflow of blood which might strain his heart. Well, mummy has to be very closely monitored by the hospital now, twice weekly.
 
Sometimes with all the technology and knowledge, there's a tendency to trust in man's wisdom than in our Almighty God. God knows our weakness, and He tells daddy and mummy each day to trust in Him. It's tough, we long for everything to be alright, for both twins to live and grow. He comforts us with Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." We do not understand why the twins are growing this way, nor why we have twins, but we trust that whatever happens, God has a plan for us that is good and not evil. And above that, God has made our twins wonderfully.
 
Psalm 139:14
"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well."
 

Ultrascan on 13 Dec 2007

"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well." Psalm 139:14
  
16 weeks old
 
Twin A was visibly smaller than twin B, and my heart just cried to hear of the doctor's report that twin A was not getting enough blood flow and his size is smaller than normal. The love God has put in our heart for the twins were unspeakable and I know that God is always in control. My husband and I stood firm that we will trust in the Lord no matter what happens. Despite all the risks that are there, mental or physical handicap, heart stopping, etc, we need to walk by faith and not by sight. To trust in God and not in man. We want to be shining lights for our Lord Jesus, and we choose to hold on to the babies and not entertain any thoughts of terminating the pregnancy (another nice word for abortion). We are able to love because God first loved us!
 
Psalm 139:13
"For You formed my inward parts;You covered me in my mother’s womb."

Psalm 139:14
"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well."

Ultrascan on 29 Nov 2007

Ultrascan on 16 Nov 2007

The twins are 12 weeks old. It was amazing to see 2 babies inside the womb. Twin A is the one below. Twin B is the one on top. A is slightly smaller than B, both moving and playfully disturbing one another. It was a sight that just causes both of us to be in awe. Thank God for giving us this twin bundle. He indeed has a special purpose for this in our lives. We shall trust Him in everything.

(2007 has been archived. However we kept the twins update here for continuity purposes.)

 


2008- Till 14 Apr 08 - 28/6/2008
YR- Leviticus - 15/4/2008
2007 - 10/3/2008
YR- Exodus - 26/10/2007
YR- Numbers 6 - 26/10/2007
YR- Numbers 1-5 - 26/10/2007
YR- Genesis - 26/10/2007
EB- 2007 (1st Half) - 26/10/2007
EB- 2006 and before - 26/10/2007
EF- 2006 - 26/10/2007
EF- 2005 and before - 26/10/2007
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